Today is TSO

To explain the significance and importance of Trans Siberian Orchestra in my life, in this our story is pretty near impossible.  But I gotta try.  
It was the winter.  That winter.  A couple of fine folks in Colorado got me tickets to see them since I was there while Murphy was receiving care at CSU.  And it was my birthday.  
Being the music lover I am, I was sure I heard of them.  But even if I did, nothing could’ve prepared me for it…
An Angel Came Down was the first piece they performed and I was blown away. To put it into context, I’ve seen Pavarotti live, the three tenors, and Yo Yo Ma and even Kitaro… There was a hot, hot girl in a red sequined dress playing the electric violin that I still think about from time to time… 
Anyway, I was in rapture.  Pop culture has ruined the word ‘awesome’ but it was.  I was a kid witnessing the spirit of Christmas for the first time.  
And yet I hated it.  Because somewhere in a distant parking lot, alone and cold was Murphy.  He never left my side and the TSO concert was as far as I went from him.  We didn’t stay for the second set because I couldn’t. Even though thoroughly bundled up in the SUV.
And then after Murphy died, I was up in Bowling Green KY (heh, that’s my TX roots showing – everything is ‘up’), for two reasons.  To meet Indy for the first time and attend a fundraiser for their animal shelter.  It was the coolest of its kind – it was in a cave that Jesse James and his gang hung out in if my memory serves me well. 
Even amidst all the beauty, glamour, and glitz that I was graciously invited to be a part of, I didn’t stay long, 30 minutes maybe, because I couldn’t.  I left there and drove to a church parking lot and put my TSO CD in, listening to it for hours.  It must’ve been hours because someone called the police.  
The officer politely asked me why I was there.  I didn’t know if he meant why I was in The City of White Squirrels, the parking lot of a church in the middle of the night, or asking a more theological question.  But I only had one answer.  
“I miss my son.”  
He nodded and said goodnight.  I never asked his name.  
This is my Christmas story

Day 35: 2nd Path Lab Results

Like I talked about on Day 16, I’ve been awaiting on the results of the additional prognostic and proliferation tests and today I finally got the path report.  
I took a pic of it with the ole trusty I-Phone and if you can’t read the image, basically it’s damn good news 
My decision is no chemo as I feel the potential downside exceeds any preventative or prophylactic benefit.  
Delivered on the eve of my planned departure, I can leave tomorrow to head back up to New England in good conscience and positive spirits.  

The Nature of the Beast

“I really try to put myself in uncomfortable situations. Complacency is my enemy.” – Trent Reznor.  Nine Inch Nails

My time in the tent this past week wasn’t spent sliding down spirit caves with power animals or searching for blue orchids, I worked.  Or to put a more fine point on it, I studied in solitary quietude.  

One of my lifelong friends, now gone, was a philosophy professor and he always said, ‘Luke (That’s how I was known back then before becoming Yer Big Dog I mean).  Life isn’t about answers, it’s about the questions you ask.’   

And now that I’m 3 for 3 for dogs with cancer, I have a lot of goddamn questions.   We all do.  

But being back in the tent again I couldn’t help but wonder if I had missed something the first time.  And the second time.  So I need to start again.  With the first question.

——–  

What is cancer?

According to Withrow & MacEwen’s ‘Small Animal Clinical Oncology‘, there are two generations or iterations of our understanding of cancer.  The first, Gen 1 let’s call it, was from a 30 year compilation of research published in 2000 by Drs. Hanahan and Weinberg called the ‘Six Hallmarks of Cancer’.  

They were attempting to distill the down and outright differentiation, the lowest common denominator, the absolute zero, between a normal cell and a cancer cell and they accomplished something close to it – an approximation that became an early and important precedent.  

Before I begin with my folksy analysis of it, I encourage you to purchase this inestimable tome.  Most nearly all of the thought leaders and minds both past and future in comparative oncology contributed to it and I’m humbled even at an attempt to understand it.  

Heck the flow charts look like a John Madden schematic to me. But here we go.  

——-

The Six Hallmarks of Cancer

1. Self Sufficiency of Growth Signals.  

This is the ‘To Be or Not to Be’, the Hamlet, shall we say, of the hallmarks.  Cancer is a genetic disease but not all predisposed or mutated cells become malignant.  Proto-oncogenesis doesn’t presuppose oncogenesis.  

But once it ‘Be’, like Hamlet’s ill-fated love for Ophelia, a cascade of events occur very few of which can stop the inevitable.  

2. Insensitivity to Antigrowth Signals.  

If only cancer was a cell on a homicidal steroidal rampage, unchecked and running amok, like Arnold Swarz… shit, the Terminator, well, we’d deal with it kind of the same way. We gave him the run of 80’s action films, made him the Governator but, whoa, president and potentially the ruler of the universe?  

That’s what Tumor Suppressor Genes, or the Kindergarten Cops, do and this is important.  

Back in the 1970s, before Arnold was clad in a loin cloth in Conan, scientists were trying to understand retinoblastoma* and in researching its heritable traits they discovered the existence of a tumor suppressing gene which in subsequent research yielded the discovery of p53 (more on p53 later).  

But the ‘Terminator’ will always be back.  Like what Michael Chrichton wrote in Jurassic Park.  ‘Nature finds a way’.  So does cancer and it found a way to suppress and/or inactivate the biochemical mechanisms and fool-proof machinery incorporated into your DNA to prevent tumor suppressor genes and p53.  

This is the point at which pink elephants come into the equation.

My friend, Pete, loved pink toys.  It made him happy. In nature, happy, is referred to as homeostasis.  It’s the balance, the bad v good ballad that’s part of the Dance of life.  

If only cancer was an aberration, a beefy Austrian bad actor named Arnold that defied all odds.  But it isn’t.  And it only gets worse.     

3. Evasion of Cell Death. 

The Cell Cycle ain’t complicated in a cradle to grave sense.  Cells procreate to sustain the life of tissue, organ systems, and ultimately self.  Left unchecked, hell, it’d become part of the Kardashian franchise but pre-programmed in a cell’s genetic structure is a stop function called apoptosis.  

However, to quote the textbook, ‘Cancer cells, through a variety of strategies, can acquire resistance to cell death and apoptosis.’ I call this the Br’er Rabbit Effect.  

I’ll stop here and continue with 4-6 tomorrow.  I’ll start again.  


Sniffy and Donut

Back on the Summer of Murphy Tour last year we stayed at the home of Rob and Rhondda, the wonderful folks leading the Puppy Up! charge in Las Vegas and their young son, Owen or Cap’n Jack Sparrow as I knew him at the time, knighted Hudson and Indiana as Sirs ‘Sniffy and Donut’ respectively.  
It wasn’t the same in the tent this week without ‘Itchy Scratchy’ and ’12 short of a baker’s dozen’ (I can only guess that’s what Owen meant), and I missed them during my fast but I’m back and we’re back together and it’s time for us to get back on the road.  
Tuesday we’ll start making our way up to New England with stops in VA, MD, PA, NY for events and meetings. Stay posted…
YBD’s Notes:  Got your card guys and thanks… indeed it is an adventure.  

Day 16: If You Don’t Think Good…

…Don’t think much.’  Ted Williams

‘True.  But that’s precisely when you should be doing your research!’  YBD

——–

I feel quite confident now that I have a firm understanding of Mast Cell Tumors (MCT) and I wanted to share some of that with you.  

First off, I searched extensively for the most thorough though lucid account of this type of cancer from a microbiological and immunological perspective.  And that follows:

——–

A normal mast cell is part of our immunologic defense systems against invading organisms. Mast cells are meant to participate in the war against parasites (as opposed to the war against bacterial or viral invaders). They are bound within tissues that interface with the external world such as the skin, respiratory or intestinal tract. They do not circulate through the body.
The mast cell possesses within itself granules of especially inflammatory biochemicals meant for use against invading parasites. (Think of these as small bombs that can be released). The mast cell has binding sites on its surface for a special type of antibody called IgE. IgE is produced in response to exposure to antigens typical of parasites (i.e., worm skin proteins, or similarly shaped proteins). IgE antibodies, which are shaped like tiny “Y”‘s, find their way to a tissue mast cell and perch there. With enough exposure to the antigen in question, the mast cell may be covered with Y- shaped IgE antibodies like the fluff of a dandelion. The mast cell is said, at this point, to be sensitized.
As said, the IgE antibodies are Y-shaped. Their foot is planted in the mast cell while their arms lift up hoping to capture the antigen for which they were individually designed. When the antigen comes by and is grasped by the IgE antibodies, this should indicate that a parasite is near and the mast cell, like a land mine, degranulates releasing its toxic biochemical weapons. These chemicals are harmful to the parasite plus serve as signals to other immune cells that a battle is in progress and for them to come and join in.
At least this is what is supposed to happen.
A mast cell, coated with IgE antibodies, is exposed to pollen and degranulates, releasing its biochemical weapons of destruction.
The problem is that we live in a clean world without a lot of parasites. What unfortunately tends to happen is that the IgE/mast cell system is stimulated with other antigens that are of similar shape or size as parasitic antigens. These “next best” antigens are usually pollen proteins and the result is an allergy. Instead of killing an invading parasite, the mast cell biochemicals produce local redness, itch, swelling, and other symptoms we associate with allergic reactions.
As if the mast cell isn’t enough of a troublemaker in this regard, the mast cell can form a tumor made of many mast cells. When this happens, the cells of the tumor are unstable. This means they release their toxic granules with simple contact or even at random creating allergic symptoms that do not correlate with exposure to any particular antigen.

There’s additional info on diagnosis, grading, treatment etc. here.

——–

To Chemo or Not to Chemo

Now that we have received the initial pathology report as a Grade II with a low mitotic index, some of the oncologists with which I consulted have recommended a ‘Wait and See’ approach with quarterly re-checks since we had wide surgical margins.  

However, since some Grade II  tumors don’t always behave predictably, others suggested two additional tests. The first is the mast cell tumor panel that consists of two proliferation markers – PCNA and Ki67.  It has been demonstrated that dogs that have more rapid rate of cell proliferation are more likely to have an aggressive form of MCT and chemotherapy might be warranted.  

The second is know as the c-kit mutation.  It’s been shown that about half of grade II MCTs have mutations in the proto-oncogene, c-kit, and were more likely to recur after surgery and metastasize.  

——–

Mac and Me

Hudson’s tumor, affectionately known now as Mac, has been sent out and we’re awaiting the results of both tests. By Monday, hopefully, as that effects the decision I make about his treatment plan.  For now, more waiting.  And waiting. But having completed my research, I guess I can go back to not thinking much. 
I’ve compiled in excess of over fifty pages of research, links, etc. that I’d be happy to share upon request.  Email me at 2dogs2000miles@gmail.com  Some of the information is repetitious but for me, that’s just a way I make certain I retain it.  

This Is

Here are pics from our recent travels…

This is Dr. Sue the cancer vet lovin her some fuzzybutts…






This is Hudzers hammin it up and a toeheaded kid playing paddy cake on his belly








What Price Fame?  This is Hudson on day 4 of the conference.








At the Mall of America, this is?????

These are the Puppy Up! ladies of Des Moines.  From L to R, Julie, Chris, and Brooke (whose dog Gunner has cancer).





This is Beth in Madison whose beautiful Pyrenees, Czar, has metastatic bone cancer and one of the calendar boys in the 2014 Cancer Can’t Keep a Good Dog Down calendar.







This is where the fat cats (again, sorry for feline references) sit above everyone else in Madison.  It’s a law – no structure can be higher than the capitol.







This is Yer Big Dog dancing with Lil Nana.  Yep it gets lonely on the road… and FYI – he can two step.









This is the beautiful Memorial board that the folks in Ann Arbor created from their recent Puppy Up! walk.






This is Indiana pooping on a Church bush thereby damning his soul to an eternity of reruns of Garfield and Squirrel infomercials.

On God and Google

This isn’t the first time my I-Phone has altered the course of things for me.  One of our supporters asked for my help on a cancer related issue and in my haste, I texted my reply as ‘At your service’ but autocorrect sent it as ‘At your cervix’.  

Sunday, I was on my way to the flagons, dragons, and wenches of the Renaissance Festival in Connecticut and when I typed in the address for it at 14 Stott Avenue, Google Maps autocorrected it for 14 Scott Street. 

And that took me to a place I’ve never been to before, but to a known yet forgotten land.

——–

The Saint Peters and Saint Paul Church sits atop a rolling Northeastern hillside in Norwich, and it was there I found the 14 stations of the Cross.  It’s a beautiful, bucolic place of pray and it’ll now and always be one of my just circles.  

I walked the grounds, reflected on its grace and glory and historical significance, wept for our loved ones lost by cancer, then got back in my car and carried on to the Renaissance festival.  

Our path isn’t up to us.  I forgot about that.  Shit.  I forgot about a lot of things.   But I just got reminded.  It’s up to Google.  And God.  

THE ROCK: Chapter 15 Part 1: Sponsors. Shit

“To believe in this living is just a hard way to go.”  


– Angel From Montgomery


——–

I have a BBA in Finance and Accounting and I understand a few things about business but none of my education could have prepared me for the byzantine and bizarre world of sponsorship.

You could say I was a naif and you’d be mostly right.

——–

But it was a noble belief.  After all, who wouldn’t want to wrap themselves around a storyline that goes like this:

Man doesn’t like dogs.  Man gets dog from stripper.  Man v. dog.  Dog wins. Man learns to love dog.  Dog gets cancer. Dog dies.  Man dies, almost.  Man walks 2000 Miles with 2 Dogs for cancer.  Dogs win.  

But it was more than a grand idea.  I not only had a clear vision of what I hoped to accomplish, I also had a well thought out plan.

——–

I’d done my due diligence on the risks, hazards, dangers and challenges that would confront us on a daily basis.  I spent weeks building a spreadsheet on poisonous plants and trees alone and their native habitat.  

Growing up near the Gulf Coast, I knew that Oleanders are so deadly that their toxin suffuses the surrounding soil.  But I had no idea where Yews yewed, rhododendrons rode and Sagos sat.  All, too, could’ve been lethal to our kids and after compiling worksheet upon worksheet about fatal flora I was getting pretty freaked out.  

It was like I was a risk manager trying to balance catastrophic chances with potential benefits in irreconcilable columns.  And I was still a junior analyst.  

——–

Flora v Fauna

Sure I was worried about toxic trees and plantlife since Murphy pretty much ate anything and everything that seemed edible to him.  But that was down on the risk list as I was more concerned with a clearer more present danger – feral dogs.  

Down south, it’s not uncommon to come across a pack of attack dogs and they can take down cattle.  Since we would all be tethered together, they scared the holy hell outta me so much so that I bought a can of bear repellent that I carried in my micro (read fanny) pack.  

But the biggest threat that would present itself to the three of us, Hudson, Murphy and me I determined was, well, you.  On the road I mean.  

——–

A, B, or ZZ

One of the first questions people always ask me is, ‘How did you pick your route?’

At some point when you’re planning to walk cross country mountains come into play and for us, that was the Appalachians and there were only two sensible choices.

Option A: Hug the Gulf Coast to the Atlantic seaboard and the range wouldn’t be a concern. But that would entail us walking through Florida, the lightening capital of the country.  Pyrenees don’t conduct electricity all that well so that wasn’t going to happen.  

Option B: Nix FL for GA since that’s the southernmost extent of the Appalachians. Still, we’d have to traverse the Gulf Coast and the heat and humidity from the sea level states just don’t suit mountain dogs’ disposition.  

Instead, I chose to Zig and Zag.  Get as far north as fast as possible for cooler more favorable temperatures for the boys and then dog leg east to our destination. But that would mean a longer trek. By a few hundred miles.  Every decision has opportunity costs even though when making life ones, the math doesn’t always add up.  

——–


Risks assessed and our course mostly set, all we needed was a few essentials like food, outfitting, and even after selling my Pathfinder for $2000 I didn’t have much of it to spend. 

——–

As I was soonly schooled in gearing up for 2 Dogs 2,000 miles, there were a ton of people looking for hand outs for ‘charitable causes’ and I was merely one in a long, long waiting line.  

Two things made this walk happen: the difference between corporate integrity and gimmickry.  Well that was one of them anyway.


——–

YBD’s Notes 1:  At UTSA, I was the President of the Financial Management Association and I lead the most successful fundraising campaign there to get our members to a national event in Chicago.  The theme was industry against academia in an arm wrestling event and I had professors battling it out with stock traders, brokers, and financial managers.  In the end, it was House v Tank.  A 6’6 goliath against a five foot five ton of steel.  Tank won and that taught me a lesson way back when. 

YBD’s Notes 2:  The odds never add up unless you take into consideration 3 things.  

Yeah, I went the hard way.  I know of no other way.

YBD’s Notes 3:  Part II:  Faith, Love, and Fight.    

THE ROCK: Chapter 13: Ridiculous Part 3

“Cast before a silver sheet,
Tracing lines that never meet.”

Those are the first two lines to a poem I wrote a long, long while ago, even way, way before Malcolm was diagnosed, and they made little sense to me at the time. 

They do now.

——–
YBD’s Notes 1:  Though I have plenty more ridiculous things to say and do, I’m done with this chapter and it’s time to move on and bring the first book, The Rock, to its conclusion.  

YBD’s Notes 2:  Sailing is an inexact metaphor for life.  Ashore, the time to jibe or tack doesn’t always translate but I’ve come about now.

YBD’s Notes 3:  Next chapter I’ll talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of sponsorship and that’ll set the stage for the final chapter.  

Non Resectable

“I’m sorry.  It’s inoperable.”

How many of you have heard these words? That diagnosis from Steve Withrow about Murphy’s nasal tumor still haunts my thoughts some two years post mortem.  

2 Million Dogs is funding a two year, $80,000 drug delivery study with Animal Medical Center in Manhattan and Sloan Kettering.

The first phase of the study is urogenital cancer in dogs since, at the point of diagnosis, the prognosis is pretty grim.  Less than 30% of bladder cancer patients respond to traditional treatment and since surgical intervention isn’t a viable option, the need for target therapeutics is essential.  

We all know that dosing chemo in dogs is drastically less than that of in humans and if we can get the right drug directly into the tumor, we may achieve therapeutic drug levels at 40X the current regimen.  There are other potential benefits such as cost savings but they are ancillary to our aims.  

Speaking of… here’s my press release statement:

“It is an honor to work with two prestigious institutions in the fields of veterinarian medicine and cancer research.  2 Million Dogs’ scientific objectives in funding cancer studies are collaborative and comparative in both spirit and scope and this study is a shining example of that.  Cancer touches us all.  It is a cross species disease and now more than ever it is imperative for us work together to end this epidemic.” 

More importantly, I’ve come to know the principal investigator, Chick, on a more personal level and I feel he has the vision, fortitude, and fire to make significant strides in the field of comparative oncology.  

——–

Photo from left to right:  Drs. Richard Goldstein and Allyson Berent; Yer Big Dog; Chick Weisse; Kate Coyne (CEO of AMC); Ginger Morgan; Nicole Leibman and Ann Hohenhaus.  

YBD’s Notes 1: To date, we’ve funded genetic or lab research with long-reaching prospects.  This study represents our first foray into the clinical setting.  

YBD’s Notes 2:  Ginger amazed Chick with the fact that the $80,000 was raised $20 at a time.  To me, that’s a perfect testament to the courage and conviction of all of the volunteers, city organizers, the board members of 2 Million Dogs, and all of those who keep the faith and puppy up!
Next Entries »